The beauty of a failed test
by AnimeTricia
Summary: who knew failing a test could lead to so much. SasuSaku CRACK :D first Crack so plz dont flame me


The birds were singing, the sun was shining, the trees were-

Okay, backspace to the max.

"Sakura, this composition is terrible, you're going to have to do better than this if you want to pass English!"

Great, another F-, let me introduce myself, my name is Haruno Sakura and brilliant failure at English, ridiculous since I'm getting 'A's at Biology, Algebra and everything else.

"Miss Haruno," Kakashi-sensei, our poor porn-reading English teacher, said "I'm going to have to assign you a study partner just so that you can at least pass."

Great, as if my life didn't suck enough already.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you're Miss Haruno's study buddy."

Forget sucking, my life is now fucked. F.M.L.

"Forehead, I don't see what you're so upset about? You've got _the_ Uchiha Sasuke as your study buddy? It's not that bad, good looks and good grades, you will either finally pass English or finally confess you feelings."

I groaned.

I was now in my bedroom, my Pet Pig, Ino, on the phone with me.

Okay, maybe Ino isn't my pet pig, quite obvious since she speaks, but then again, with how she eats I'm amazed she didn't look like one. I mean seriously, an hourglass figure with potato chips and a tub of ice-cream daily? Not your healthiest meal of the day.

"Ino, you of all people know I've been crushing on Sasuke-kun for ages,"

"Since playgroup," Ino cut in.

"Exactly, what do you think I'm more worried about? Making a fool of myself in front of him, or passing English."

"I don't know forehead, but if you manage to snag him, tell him to set Naruto up with Hinata. That blonde idiot doesn't know Hinata has been crushing on him for ages."

I've never wanted to strangle the pig so much.

"I repeat my point Sakura, either way the study group turns out, it's good!"

Forget wanting, I was going to make pork chops as soon as I see her.

"Yamanaka Ino! I make a fool of myself everywhere, how am I going to survive a full hour near Sasuke-kun?"

"Just be your idiot self, shouldn't you get going already? I thought you were meeting Sasuke at 5?"

I looked at the clock, let's just say Ino might be needing hearing aids.

"!" I screamed

4:20! It took an hour to reach, Sasuke's house, I was going to be late.

Placing Ino on loudspeaker I quickly got up, cursing everytime my face kissed the ground when putting my jeans on.

"Sakura darling, despite you screaming in my ear, I'm going to be nice and go and fetch you. Be there in 10."

Of course, needless to say, my (AWESOMESAUSE) fairy (PIG) godmother was in time. (Unlike me)

I've got to say, this was the only time I've gotten lost in a _house, _it was freaking big!

Sasuke's brother, Uchiha Itachi had answered the door when I reached, I was proud to say I was 15 minutes early (Bless Ino and her crazy driving).

First door to the left he had said, and to tell the truth… I think I went left.

I had no idea where I was, the corridors were practically a maze, just how many guest rooms were there!

I tightened my grip around my books, the mansion would be the perfect haunted house, with all the dark coloured wallpaper and the pictures of the ancestors hanging on the walls, it was kinda creepy.

To top it off… I think I hear moans, they were even increasing in volume.

I finally stopped in front of the door which is probably Sasuke's… seeing there's a "UCHIHA SASUKE THE AWESOMEST!" there…

The door was slightly ajar, and the moans and groans seemed to be starting from there. I peeped in.

I fainted.

SASUKE"S POV

"Naruto…" I growled.

For some crazy reason Naruto was in my bedroom, lying on my bed, and happily switching the channels of my 4" TV. Did I mention that most of the channel's looked like porn?

I wouldn't know, a constipated bastard like me wouldn't know.

I'M SUCH A BASTARD.,

I SHALL KILL MYSELF YOUTHFULLY!

Stab. Stab. Stab.

LEE I NEVER GOT TO SAY I LOVE YOU!

I'm SORRWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~

(just kidding haha, back to the story.)

I sighed, "Naruto, get the heck outta my room. Sakura's gonna be coming any second."

"Oh, loosen up Sasu-cakes *wink* *wink* there's still 15 minutes to spare. She won't be coming anytime soon, relax and enjoy the beauty, of the woman's body."

Of all channels he picked it had to be JIRAYA'S ICHA ICHA hawtHAWThawt CHANNEL. Only for porn addicts only.

"Oh look! Kakashi-sensei is on!" he cried, sitting up.

I never wanted to kill him so much, oh screw it, I quickly jumped up trying to grab the remote. The remote was the only thing that could get Naruto to leave.

I was just about to get the remote when I could hear a thump outside, me and Naruto widened our eyes. Our position right now… let's just say it wasn't very appropriate

I quickly rushed to the door. And of all things to see, it was Sakura. Fainted. Outside my room. Kukukukukukuku… wait I was starting to sound like Orochimaru.

"Sakura?" I called, shaking her.

The first thing she did when she woke up was, you guessed it, the best thing any female can do the best, bawling.

"Oh, Ino, I had the worst dream! SASUKE WAS GAY! GAY I TELL YOU GAY! Kissing and having gay sex with Naruto, of all people NARUTO! If it was Orochimaru sensei at least it was still acceptable! At least Orochimaru bothers to dress up like a girl! But NARUTO, NARUTO! WHY MUST THE HOT GUYS OF THE WORLD BE GAY! Johnathan Groff was too hawt to be gay! You had to take Taylor Lautner too! HE KISSED ROBERT PATTINSON, oh where oh where has justice to the hot people gone! HOW AM I GOING TO TELL UCHIHA I LURB HIM!"

"You love me?" I asked, my eyebrow raised.

That stopped Sakura's bawling.

Instead she screamed, jumping up from my all so awesomely hawt (as Sakura called me) lap.

"I… I… I…" She stammered out, looking for words, I took the opportunity to walk towards her.

"For what's worth, I'm not gay" I whispered in her ear, yes I can be SEX-Y when I wanted to. "and I lurb you too."

I planted a kiss on her lips, my tongue slipping in as she started responding to me, her hands snaking around my neck, as my hands went to her waist.

Touchy touchy, feely feely, moany moany.

"man, this is better than porn!"

Damn you Naruto.

~!#$%^&*9!#$%^7^%!#$%^&)((#34=%^$%#!))(*#*!)(*!#9)!*)!

That was… wrong? Okay, I think the last part was funny, the front part was a seriously failed attempt. First time writing crack, EPIC FAIL.

GARHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LEE SASUKE LURbz U!

REVIEW!


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